she sounds like chewbacca in bed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
