Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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