Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
