I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
