her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
