K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
