Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
