I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Houston, we have a blender
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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