Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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