Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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