i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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