whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
