it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
