you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
