was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
