Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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