I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
