With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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