But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
