I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Couch. On fire.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
