he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
