Don't make out with my wife yet
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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