What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
