Midget sex pt 2 tonight
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
