Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
