Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
