Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
