doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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