I puked a lego.
too bad you live with your parents still
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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