did you get engaged???
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
