sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
