I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
