Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
