Where is the hickey?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Randomize
