and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Drunk is a universal language darling
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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