woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
