I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I got inside last night via doggy door
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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