I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
