There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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