he puts the penis in happiness.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
