I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
