I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
