So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
