Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you traded sex for a burrito?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
