Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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