she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
