if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
