I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Floor bacon is actually really good
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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