If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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