I swear she didn't look like that last week.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
