I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
